original little hellraisers

owen holding dylan’s hand in the car.

we did it!  i showered, got the kids fed and packed up for a trip to the playground with lexie, lucia and finn.  yes, we got out the house an hour later than planned and i had to wrestle with owen to get dressed and he still left the house without shoes or a jacket on, but we did it.  best of all, as i was packing the stroller up i hear owen talking to dylan in his carseat and i hear him say “i lub you”.  victory!

i was thinking the other day (well trying to) as owen was having a massive fit. i mean the kind of fit where he throws himself down on the ground kicking and screaming.  the stuff you see in commercials and sit-coms.  all over a cookie.  a little black and white oreo cookie.

go ahead and cast judgment for this, but i wanted to walk over, stand him up and shake him to his senses.  he’s losing his sh*t over a cookie that he cannot have whenever he wants.  screaming, claiming be injured, kicking his legs and stomping his feet, pouting, crying at the top of his lungs.

i did the next best (worst?) thing and got up, went into the kitchen (he was near the fire place) and put my hands on the counter to remind myself that he’s two years old and this is totally normal.  just took a minute to calm my brain down, which was pissed i was dealing with this.

and then i felt guilty because i was getting frustrated.  kara, obviously took notice, and told me to go see radiohead with marc in golden gate park (marc had an extra ticket.)  i went and then promptly felt guilty for going.

only to come back to find out kara had the same experience and was feeling guilty for being frustrated at owen because he wouldn’t go down for the night.

i had, in my own self-centered way, thought that the frustration was something only i felt with my kids.  it was humbling to see kara frustrated, because she is soooo patient with owen (and me, and the dog, and the cats, and the newborn.)

it’s weird that in all this time of being a parent and being around other parents we don’t talk about this enough.  i know i must have frustrated the hell out of my parents.  i know every parent gets frustrated — even with newborns.  there is so much bullsh*t pressure on parenting “right.”  i think we constantly judge ourselves as parents and forget that this is a learning process for all of us.

so, for the three of you that read this, go ahead and be frustrated.  the trick is to not do something stupid, like walk over and shake your two year old to his senses.  that would make you a bad person.

john and i are very pleased that owen now loves totoro!  it’s his new favorite movie.  he’s even picked up a few japanese words “domo”, “ichi” and “ni”  i don’t think he knows what they mean, but then again how does he know any new words meanings, english or otherwise. 

i’m also very proud of owen, for being such a good big brother.  when we are watching totoro, he often asks to hold dylan and when i place dylan in his lap, he looks at dylan and then points to the dvd player and says “totoro”.  dylan, your lucky to have a big brother to introduce you to everything that is cool.

i’ve come the realization that if i plan on going anywhere outside of the house that i definitely need a double stroller.  i thought i could get away with owen walking and dylan riding or me carrying dylan and owen riding, but after a few short trips i realized that one of us was going to be uncomfortable.  so yesterday we went out and bought the Phil & Teds - Dash Stroller.  we walked to java beach for a sunset beer and dinner.  the sun came out just as we sat down on their patio.  it was quite perfect.  dylan was cozily asleep in the bottom and owen was a happy little camper sitting on his brother.  i think he got a big kick out it.  he kept looking under his legs, saying “dylan, dylan”.

so this is john’s last week off and i’m getting a little nervous about doing it all by myself.  i think i can do it.  i may not shower and i may not get to eat until noon time while owen is taking his afternoon nap but i’ll get through it.  right?!

i was brave last week and took the two boys to IKEA by myself.  why i chose IKEA of all places to go to by myself, i have no idea.  i guess i was thinking it’s sort of like a really big house and is super kid friendly.  it was a relatively successful trip, we got what we came for and made it home without any major upsets.  owen did show his first signs of sibling rivalry on the car ride home.  he pulled dylan’s pacifier out and when he began to cry, threw it at him and then yanked the blanket off of him.  i was somewhat shocked and a little disappointed that my sweet little boy would do such a thing but i know he truly is a sweet little boy and will be a great big brother.

…walk down the street when he’s two weeks old, drinking a beer and feeding him from a bottle at the same time.

dylan is doing well.  loaded up with baby acne is really the worst of it.  owen is still in this adjustment phase — he’s been a pain in the ass to put to bed at night now.  we think it’s mostly an indication of us needing to spend more one-on-one time with him.

the nasty belly button black bit fell off this week, which is awesome.  :)  he’s sleeping and eating well.

we definitely think it’s easier the second time around — i think we’re just so much less anxious with dylan than we were with owen.  owen is definitely the greater challenge right now and it’s not like he’s a difficult kid.  on his hardest day he is still easier than some two year olds i’ve seen.

i love my little family.

…about the two year old run.  it’s like a combination of a jog, sprint, hop and skip all happening at the same time, as fast as possible and barely in control.

…you finish the four books you read every night to him — almost ritualistically — curious george discovery day, curious george rides, owen and mzee and i’m the biggest thing in the ocean.  in that order.  if you try to read them out of order, he will correct you.

…you tell him it is time to lay down.  he crawls over and puts his head down on the pillow.

…you tell him night night.  he replies, ‘nigh - nigh.’

…you give him his ‘friends’: whale, elmo and kodama.

…you tuck him into his favorite red blanket.

…you tell him you love him.  he replies, ‘i nub noo noo.’ (i love you too).

…you don’t forget to turn on his night lights.  all three.

…you leave the room.

…twenty minutes pass and he’s yelling, ‘noooo!’, ‘nooooo!’

…you enter.

…you retuck his blanket, that he’s kicked off.  he’s wide awake.  he says… ‘tuck…?’ in this sad little voice.

…twenty minutes pass…

…rinse, repeat.