why can’t we get frustrated…?
i was thinking the other day (well trying to) as owen was having a massive fit. i mean the kind of fit where he throws himself down on the ground kicking and screaming. the stuff you see in commercials and sit-coms. all over a cookie. a little black and white oreo cookie.
go ahead and cast judgment for this, but i wanted to walk over, stand him up and shake him to his senses. he’s losing his sh*t over a cookie that he cannot have whenever he wants. screaming, claiming be injured, kicking his legs and stomping his feet, pouting, crying at the top of his lungs.
i did the next best (worst?) thing and got up, went into the kitchen (he was near the fire place) and put my hands on the counter to remind myself that he’s two years old and this is totally normal. just took a minute to calm my brain down, which was pissed i was dealing with this.
and then i felt guilty because i was getting frustrated. kara, obviously took notice, and told me to go see radiohead with marc in golden gate park (marc had an extra ticket.) i went and then promptly felt guilty for going.
only to come back to find out kara had the same experience and was feeling guilty for being frustrated at owen because he wouldn’t go down for the night.
i had, in my own self-centered way, thought that the frustration was something only i felt with my kids. it was humbling to see kara frustrated, because she is soooo patient with owen (and me, and the dog, and the cats, and the newborn.)
it’s weird that in all this time of being a parent and being around other parents we don’t talk about this enough. i know i must have frustrated the hell out of my parents. i know every parent gets frustrated — even with newborns. there is so much bullsh*t pressure on parenting “right.” i think we constantly judge ourselves as parents and forget that this is a learning process for all of us.
so, for the three of you that read this, go ahead and be frustrated. the trick is to not do something stupid, like walk over and shake your two year old to his senses. that would make you a bad person.
Oh this conversation I can be a part of and I am so thankful for you writing this post as my 1-year-old who acts like a 2-year-old has been driving me insane lately and I too have been feeling the guilt of actually getting pissed off at him for having a tantrum. And I’m afraid I’m either sending him mixed messages or he just thinks I am crazy. This needs to be the topic of our conversation at our next gathering not how cute and smart our kids are
Thanks John.
kara - good luck today! i will be thinking about your rockstarness, as it’s your first day 2 kids! with john at work. have fun!
Wow - I thought we were the only ones that had a bad weekend with a 2 year old. Let’s see, Caden screamed (and kicked and cried) all the way through our shopping trip at Costco. Yes, we were “those people” with “that kid” this weekend. The ones that everyone stares at. Why did he have a meltdown you ask? Um, not sure. I think he wanted to be held by Mummy, and then he wanted the Costco size box of Oreos, and then he wanted “MORE” of the juice sample he had tried, and then he just wanted to piss us off. I blame the cookies! We have a fight over Oreos at least once a week. Hang in there!
that 2 sided cookie that you call oreo can be a bear of your existence! beware!
i meant that two-faced cookie can be a BANE of your existence and is a bear to carry! keep on keeping on for small victories!
love, love, love that is all you can do. When it is done with your heart it is okay. you are human and of course we get frustrated, no one and nothing is perfect. frustration is a part of parent. love you john
mom